hungarian: it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn
biologytextbook: a support group for people who began using popular slang ironically but now cannot stop I decided to write my thesis on the word “hella.” If anyone needs a support group, it’s definitely me.
Mom: there might be bacon! Dad: I’ve got cargo pants.
blueisforscarvesandboxes: david-bui: do you ever just feel so awkward when you buy something and pay in cash and the cashier gives you the change back but you take a few seconds to put the money in your wallet and you can feel the world judging you from afar I’m glad it isn’t just me
wholock-in-hobbiton: superwholocked221b: superwholocked221b: superwholocked221b: I genuinely feel bad for anyone on tumblr who’s not in the sherlock fandom because when season 3 airs I’m 5236947623% positive Tumblr will be down for at least a month due to overloaded servers We’re coming Guys I thought this died out why are people reblogging it again kinda like how John thought...
18 obsolete words, which should never have gone... →
vigwig: nilamarthiel: thetruthyness: knottahooker: Snoutfair: A person with a handsome countenance — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk Pussyvan: A flurry, temper — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk Wonder-Wench: A sweetheart — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever...
a hilarious joke
queerfacers: tanku: three cats are competing in a race. there’s an american cat named “one two three”, a german cat named “ein zwei drei”, and a french cat named “un deux trois”. the cats all swim across a lake. the american cat finishes first, the german cat finishes second, but the french cat is nowhere to be found. why? because the un deux trois quatre cinq
sabrinagrimm: showing a friend a song u like
rattyburville: merrymrdarcy: so i called the nearby starbucks to see if they were open because my dad wasn’t sure and wanted me to ask so i asked them in gollum’s voice “HELLO IS PRECIOUS OPEN TODAY?” and the guy on the other line replied with “YES PRECIOUS IS OPEN TODAY UNTIL 3 MY PRECIOUS YESSSSSSSS” I FUCKING FLIPPED OUT AND I WAS LAUGHING AND SOBBING AND THE GUY ON THE OTHER LINE ASKED...
yliluonnollista-paskaa: narfnin: awesomephilia: Whiteboards are remarkable. I HAD TO REBLOG THIS A SECOND TIME BECAUSE I JUST REALIZED ITS A PUN AND NOW I FEEL STUPID so at first you reblogged it just because you think whiteboards are remarkable?
pertlattimers: my blog is less me making a conscious effort to entertain people and more people walking in on me talking to myself
what's brown and weighs two tons?
…all the poop you’ll poop in your lifetime. no seriously.
tupacabra: legalize it. everything. legalize every single thing
I don’t think you can ever fill the empty space with the thing you lost. Like...– Colin Singleton in An Abundance of Katherines by John Green (via vizwrtsic)
WHENEVER I THINK I'VE GOT THE HANG OF THINGS
whatshouldwecallgradschool: credit: Cayce
How to Recover from a Bad Day →
onlinecounsellingcollege: 1. Go to bed early. Some days are just bad days – and there’s nothing you can do to change circumstances and turn the day around. Remind yourself that there are better days as well, and tomorrow is a new day and a chance to start again. 2. Do something you enjoy. You may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can takes steps to improve the way you feel. When...
internetexplorers: if you interrupt me when im busy telling a story i will literally never speak to you ever again ahem…sounds like someone I know… @whatishammertime
that awkward moment when you realize that you based your masters’ thesis topic off a macklemore song, and now you’re fuuuuuuuuucked. :/
I never actually say hi to my friends, I just make creepy faces at them from a distance.
wonderbolt-dashie: assiest: a romantic comedy about a north korean dictator and a south korean popstar called ‘seoul mates’ This is why they want to attack us